Top Gear 03x07
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| style="font-size:111%;text-align:center;background:{{#switch: {{{Show}}} | #default = #C6C9FF | Angel = #5678AC | Buffy the Vampire Slayer = #5678AC | Entourage = #FBBC87 | Firefly = #fc9 | Home and Away = #F9BA5B | Stargate Atlantis = #7F8EB7 | Stargate SG-1 = #7F8EB7 | The 4400 = #B9D0E8 | The O.C. = #FFAA44 | The Simpsons = #FADA00 | Veronica Mars = #C0D883 | Sex and the City = #EAADEA | OldTG = #FFD700
}};" colspan="2" | “[03x07]” | |||||||
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 {{#if:Clarkson introducing MG's new monster|Clarkson introducing MG's new monster}} | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Episode no. | Series 3 Episode 7 | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Written by | {{{Writer}}} | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Music used | – | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Directed by | {{{Director}}} | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Guest stars | Rory Bremner | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Photographed by | {{{Photographer}}} | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Production no. | 0307 | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Original airdate | December 14, 2003 | ||||||||||||||||||||
| colspan="2" style="background:{{#switch: 3 | #default = #C6C9FF | Angel = #5678AC | Buffy the Vampire Slayer = #5678AC | Entourage = #FBBC87 | Firefly = #fc9 | Home and Away = #F9BA5B | Stargate Atlantis = #7F8EB7 | Stargate SG-1 = #7F8EB7 | The 4400 = #B9D0E8 | The O.C. = #FFAA44 | The Simpsons = #FADA00 | Veronica Mars = #C0D883 | Sex and the City = #EAADEA | OldTG = #FFD700
}};" | Series 3 episodes {{{Series list}}} | |||||||
}} {{#if:List of Top Gear Series 3 episodes| | |||||||||||||||||||||
| List of Top Gear Series 3 episodes
}} | |||||||||||||||||||||
[edit] In this Episode
Review: Jeremy Clarkson reviews the new Porsche Cayenne Turbo, and tests its off-road abilities in Bovington, Dorset. It is a brilliant car from a technological standpoint; equally adept both as a sports saloon and an offroading monster. Jeremy doesn't care, nor does he care that it guzzles petrol, has little space inside, and costs a whopping £70,000. But he can't stand it for its looks, saying it's "less attractive than a gangrenous wound, is a monkfish among cars and has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis." Jeremy hates it's looks so much that he leaves it and walks back to the studio. May agrees that it is so hideous that it should not be bought by anyone.
Review: Richard Hammond reviews the Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren in South Africa. He isn't impressed, especially by the brakes, hard ride, and interior quality, which he finds terribly plasticy.
Review: Jeremy drives the MG XPower SV, which he finds to be beautiful and powerful, with a throaty Ford Mustang V8. It is fast on the track, but poorly made, insanely expensive, and less reliable than a TVR or any foreign rivals. Richard later mocks Jeremy when he hits his head on the interior making a hard turn. The MG did a lap of 1:28.6 in the dry, better than a Porsche 911 Turbo in the wet, but was not good enough to beat any of its price-range rivals.
Challenge: Hammond is curious as to whether or not smart people are capable of performing burnouts in cars, so he brings in university professors to do just that. He determines that the dumber you are, the better you are at doing burnouts.
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Rory Bremner, a Scottish impressionist and political satirist, reads car adverts in the voice of Julian Clary, Prince Charles and Nelson Mandela and his meeting with Murray Walker, and talks about the high attrition rate of old Alfa Romeos on classic rallies. He manages to come second on the celebrity leaderboard at 1:47.9.
Review: Clarkson, Hammond, and May set off to find the best British car. Clarkson chooses the Noble M12, Hammond takes the Morgan Plus 8, and May picks an old pensioner's Rover 75. In a race around the track, Clarkson manages to drive the M12 around the track, get out, and read The Very Hungry Caterpillar before Hammond crosses the line. None of them come to an agreement on which is the best, but the audience selects the Noble as the best.
[edit] Screenshots
TG3x05 GT.jpg
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| Preceded by “Top Gear 03x06”{{#if:| as {{{as}}}}} | Top Gear episodes{{#if:| Representative for {{{district}}}|}}{{#if:| {{{dynasty}}}|}}{{#if:| {{{creation}}}|}}{{#if:| {{{years}}}|}}{{#if:| with {{{regent1}}}|}} {{#if:| ({{{years1}}})|}}{{#if:| {{{regent2}}}|}} {{#if:| ({{{years2}}})|}}{{#if:| {{{regent3}}}|}} {{#if:| ({{{years3}}})|}}{{#if:| Served alongside: {{{alongside}}}|}}{{#if:| Member of the House of Lords ({{{lords}}})|}} | Followed by “Top Gear 03x08” |
