Church Of FinalGear
From FinalGear.com Wiki
Holy Piston, Brother Supercharger and the Holy Boost
Our Members:
- Viper007Bond -- The Pope
- D-Fence -- The Crazed Primus inter Pares & Founder of the Church
- Jayhawk -- Bishop of all US road racing tracks
- TheDguy -- Cardinal of Premature Ignition, Priest of Nitromethane
- PunisherBass -- Gearhead of Buick and all things supercharged.
- Blind_IO -- Head of North American Anti-Environmental Inquisition (West Coast Division)
- donington -- Shortifex Circuititus
- Derek -- Prime choir boy
- ElToro -- Bishop of waffles, Highpriest of the White Van & leader of the PBF (Prius burning french) underground
- Ice -- Mitsubishop of Slovenia and Eastern Europe
- Alok -- The keeper of the path to the Holy Land, The Nürburgring.
- Lupin_IV -- Cardinal of Sedan
- zeroSignal -- Archbishop of Diesel, Cardinal of Torque
- eddysdaman -- Sir Lancerlot of the Round Table
- JipJopJones -- Highpriest of the "V" and Burning rubber, Sub sect. of the Jeep Templar
- BlaRo -- Heretic of Motorbike Restoration Hell
- Silverstar -- Bishop of the Hot Hatches, Church of the Horizontally Opposed
- Final Daihatsu -- Keeper of the non-Japanese Mazdaland
- LeVeL -- Cardinal of Karting
- Matt2000 -- Guardian of the four wheel drive system, knobbly rubber and the locking centre differential
- Argatoga -- Arch Bishop of Solid Rear Axel Sports Cars
Our story:
On the First Day, Man created the Car, and he saw that it was good.
On the Second day, Man created the Second Car, and thus proceeded to invent Automobile Racing, and Raced around the Countryside scaring the Everliving Shit out of Horses and Women. This was Also Good.
On the Third Day, Man decided that Two Wheels And An Engine might be as good of an idea as Four Wheels And An Engine, and thus the Motorcycle was born. Three Wheels And An Engine was always considered the Bastard Child of Automobile Configurations, and that was Fine, as nobody liked the Reliant Robin anyway.
On the Fourth Day, Man decided that what he Craved was more Power, and thus the Trinity of Triumph was Created: Cid, God of Displacement. Boost, God of Forced Induction. Redline, God of Maximum RPM. Man then began Driving very Quickly and occasionally into Trees, and decided that he should do something about the Brakes And Suspension, but it was quite Late, and Woman would probably make him Sleep on the Couch if He kept up that Racket too late.
On the Fifth Day, Man, after sharing many a Beer with his Fellow Men, invented the Leaf Spring and the Pushrod. He did not know the Consequences of his Actions, or the Strife they would Cause, but in Hindsight it was probably a Good Idea anyway. Shortly thereafter, He came up with other Suspension Systems and Disc Brakes, and it was Good, as fewer Men were Driving into Trees and Walls. After Having a Few Too Many, He also came up with the Rotary Engine, the merits of which are considered Inconclusive and a bit Odd.
On the Sixth Day, Man invented Diesel cars, Front-Wheel Drive, Soft-Roaders, and Lucas Electronics. It was generally regarded as a Bad Day, as He had a bit of a Hangover from Day 5 and probably shouldn't have bothered getting up that morning Anyway.
On the Seventh Day, Man went to the Track, and Stayed There. And it was Good.
Our Beliefs:
- Commandment 1: Thou shall enjoy thy drive.
- Commandment 2: Thou shall not work on Sunday, for it is race day.
- Commandment 3: Thou shall respect all forms of motor sports.
- Commandment 4: Thou shall not Donk thy car, nor rice it.
- Commandment 5: Thou shall drop thine hammer responsibly.
- Commandment 6: Thou shall aspire to drive thine manually shifted transmission.
- Commandment 7: Thou shall always travel on backroads instead of the highway.
- Commandment 8: Thou shall always heed the words of the Archangels of motoring....Topgear.
- Strong Suggestion 1: Thou shall not justify the suckiness of thine car by uttering the blasphemous term of "PRACTICALITY".
- Strong Suggestion 2: Thou shall not mess with mine car if thy knows what's good for thee!
