DSRacing

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DSRacing & Engineering Ltd. was an American-based engineering company and auto racing team founded, and formerly headed by "American TG Man," or "AmTGMan" for short. The team was arguably best known for it's participation in the Final Gear Wacky Races.

[edit] History

DSRacing was founded as a small motorcycle racing team in the north of New Jersey. Utilizing a motorcycle of their own design, the team, consisting of only 15 employees, achieved some success in local championships against teams with larger budgets; the entire team was funded out of pocket. After a championship in a local sportbike series, it was decided to diversify into auto racing, which was where AmTGMans loyalty was. With a modest entry into kart racing, DSRacing began to make a name for itself. Ironically, the move to auto racing, which would later earn DSRacing much fame, almost bankrupted the team, who also continued to run the motorcycle team they started from. Fortunately for them, the humble little 100cc kart had built a favorable reputation for itself. Considering the teams shoestring budget, the kart was well-designed and reasonably quick. Another upstart team, Team J&W Racing, asked to purchase a kart from DSRacing. The Kart was built, and helped propel J&W Racing to a solid 4th on their debut race. DSRacing, however, struggling under crippling financial woes, tumbled down the timesheets, unable to properly fund both operations. Thankfully, several teams took notice of the performance of the J&W Racing vehicle, and requested their own. With the influx of cash, the team pulled out of its tailspin, and results improved drastically. The team managed an impressive 3rd and 4th in the karting and motorcycle championships, respectively. The team, now with 50 employees, expanded from the garage of a team member to a rented small store and warehouse, where they supported their racing operations with their burgeoning race-ready vehicle sales, and were finally turning a profit.

What is this? This is not a DSRacing car! Take it away!!

During the off-season, the team decided to try a risky maneuver and enter a Formula 3 car of their own construction. However, none of the team had experience with the advanced composites used on a modern F3 car. The car would be hopelessly outdated, and possibly illegal. As luck would have it, however, they found the experience necessary in the form of Clay Alcata, a college sophomore hoping for an internship with a race team, and the chance to gain some experience designing race cars, all while chasing a degree in engineering. He had already applied to numerous teams before, all with the same result: being shown the door. The main reason for this (which he recorded on a hidden microphone for proof) was that he was an anthropomorphic house cat. Not one team wanted to hire him, for potential public relations backlash. With nowhere else to turn, he introduced himself to the DSRacing team. The interview between AmTGMan and Clay quickly proved the latters skill at designing cars, knowledge of aerodynamics, and experience with advanced materials. The fact that AmTGMan is an admitted furry may have also had something to do with his hiring, as well. Nevertheless, the new car was quickly penned, and a VW powerplant was sourced.

With the arrival of the 2007 British F3 Championship, came a new name for the team: DSRacing & Engineering Ltd. In a rather inauspicious beginning to the season, it was pointed out that the "Ltd." designation was British, not American. However, as the promotional material was already printed, and that "it sounded cool," the "Ltd." stuck.

The first few races were driven by German Rolph Shoemaeker, the formerly highly-regarded brother of Mike Shoemaeker, now reduced to being a pay driver. The Panasonic sponsorship was too good to pass up, and the team needed the money, so Rolph was drafted in. However, each of his races ended in amateurish spins, stupid mistakes, or just being painfully slow. After six rounds, he was unceremoniously booted from the team. But who should replace him?

In another happy coincidence, Alcata also happened to be an extremely-skilled circuit racer. For round 7, he was able to clear time in his college schedule for the remaining races, and became the DSRacing driver. Right from the start, he impressed, threading his previously derided design to impressive results, with an occasional pole and win, all on circuits he had never raced before. A particularly impressive win at Oulton Park, which he led from start to finish, lapping seven seconds faster than second place, in the pouring rain, gave testament to his abilities. Fans also loved his variable driving style, which could morph from a precise, Alain Prost-esque finesse, to the aggressive styles of Ayrton Senna, Gilles Villeneuve, and Jean Alesi, on a whim, as well as his do-or-die mentality to racing, often engaging in thrilling battles for position. His rather humble personality and (admittedly, sometimes immature) sense of humor also endeared fans. Overall, 6th after starting halfway through the season was a fine award for team and driver.

For 2008, with plenty of sponsorship, and a healthy cash flow, DSRacing & Engineering, now a respected constructor and team, set out for a whole new challenge.

In 2009, following near global domination by the Großreich, DSRacing was dissolved, with almost all assets (DKADS excluded) put up for sale.

[edit] Driver biographies

• Notice: THE FOLLOWING INDIVIDUALS ARE WANTED CRIMINALS. IF FOUND, PLEASE DELIVER THEM TO THE NEAREST GROßREICH CORRECTIONAL FACILITY. A MONETARY AWARD WILL BE GIVEN.

[edit] Clay Alcata

• Species: domestic cat
• Age: 23
• Sex: Male
• Nationality: American
• Race: Caucasian
• Fur color: Black, gray ventral side, silver head fur
• Eyes: Green

Clay Alcata has the distinction of being the first DSRacing driver to earn success on an international scale, as well as one of the few racers to drive a car by his own design. But some have questioned his skills as a driver, as he had never entered any serious championships up to the British F3 championship. So, how does his story start...

Clays parents were employee of a classified branch of the military, the U.S. Biological Weaponry Forces. This branch specialized in the development of modified organisms for use as weapons on the battlefield. Not small single-cell bacteria and viruses, mind you, but muti-cellular creatures. It's pride and joy was the development of size-shifting supersoldiers. Through extensive modifications to the growth hormones of the body, the subject could grow and shrink at will, often to awe-inspiring sizes. To the head administration, this was the perfect superweapon: As destructive as a nuclear bomb, more terrifying than an advancing army, almost totally invulnerable to small-arms fire, and best of all, completely controllable. Clay himself had undergone the process himself as an infant, as the changes needed to be done at an early age for optimum results. For reasons that were unknown to the biologists working on the project, though, his body did not take the changes. The higher-ups maintain the belief that these change are currently dormant, and need extra work to activate them. Examinations on Clay revealed that this was not the case; his body remained unchanged, with the sole exception of his fur color. (Born an orange tabby, his current fur color, the result of the genetic manipulations also changing the development of the pigments in his skin and fur, began to show at age 5.)

The supposed ability to control these weapons, however, was revealed to be completely untrue, as every subject escaped and wreaked havoc on the facility. Clay, four years old at the time, lost his mother in the chaos, actually watching her be grabbed away by one such giant to her death. The normally cheery kitten's mood became much darker after that traumatic event.

In the years leading up to his 19th birthday, Clay managed to find some good fortune. He was doing well in school (particularly when the subject involved engineering), he had a small group of good friends, and even developed a romantic interest with an orphaned serval his father had adopted (he had made it clear that the two were not related, so they saw it as a normal relationship). He had also shown to be surprisingly gifted at racing, after managing respectable times on a copy of Formula One Grand Prix that his father had neglected to close when he had to talk with an administrator, who noticed the young cat's skill on a simulator he had never played before. It was his father that also involved Clay in the world of motor racing...

As the released giants rampaged across the country, the government scrambled for a method to control/contain them. Extra pressure was laid onto the U.S.B.W.F to clean up the mess it had created. It responded with a lure based method: One soldier would act as to draw the giant into a trap set up by more members of the military. The giant would be ensnared and removed. The role of the lure was unbelievably dangerous, (one mistake could result in a horrific death) but small scale tests provided evidence that it was an effective scheme. The results of it's implementation proved this. Clay would later note that had an excellent effect at honing his driving skills, particularly adapting to new surfaces, wet weather, preserving his equipment, and finding any way to go faster still. (He still doesn't recommend it as a training method, though)

Clays father was one of the top drivers in his time, and Clay was expected to follow in his footsteps. Still harboring an urge for revenge for his mothers death, he enlisted. He quickly rocketed to the top of his class, and was the first out his group to be promoted to an official driver. Shortly after this, however, his life again took a turn for the worse. His girlfriend, who had entered an experiment with nanotechnology was pronounced dead from complications, and his father abandoned him, leaving a notice that he had to leave for his own safety, but he would be back soon (a promise would not be honored, as he was killed when he was hit by a drunk driver, as Clay would later discover). Overwhelmed with depression, it may have been a small miracle that Clay resisted suicide, instead taking to his new role with an almost fervent obsession.

Clay and his fellow drivers performed their job almost too well, as eventually the amount of released giants was reduced to zero (a bill passed by congress stated that so-called "gentle giants" (those that were friendly to normal-sized citizens, but were still rounded up, initially) were to be classified as citizens of the United States). Now with a job that seemed to be dead in the water, Clay took up a college degree in engineering, entertaining a dream of racing cars of his design. And for some good fortune in his life, he discovered that his girlfriend was still very much alive, though heavily changed. (he had been told she had died to prevent him from trying to spy on the operations they were performing, which he tended to do.) It was at this time that the old Clay began to reveal itself...

In his private life, Clay and Jessie live together in the same house (after they put in a request for an off-compound residence), and often passes the time by either composing music, which almost always has elements of electronic or the heavier genres of rock music, learning the drums from Jessie, or various car related activities. He is taking an advanced engineering course in college. He also served as Jessie's co-driver, and is a fan of the Peugeot Le Mans team.

Clay was under loan to KUIPER Racing, although DSRacing retained his services

Clays involvement in the Wacky Races is the result of jumping from the canon of the storyline he was originally created for to another.

[edit] Jessica "Jessie" Aromando

• Species: Combination of serval, dragon, skunk, and an unidentified fish-like aquatic creature
• Age: 21
• Gender: Hermaphrodite (originally female)
• Nationality: Canadian
• Race: Black (technically bi-racial)
• Fur color: Black, gray ventral side, turquoise spots, white headfur (dyed with turquoise streaks), white stripes down along hir muzzle and down hir back and tail
• Eye camera glow: faint turquiouse

Jessie was the teams second driver, as well as the teams go-to rally driver and weapon of mass destruction. Shi also happens to be Clay's aforementioned "girl"friend.

Jessie was born in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. The U.S.B.W.F. was allowed to set up a clandestine branch near Vancouver some time before her birth, which her family entered, having been somewhat strapped for cash, and were becoming desperate for money. As her parent were unwilling to enter their child in any of the programs available, Jessie was originally spared from the processes being developed. A year after her birth, she was transferred to the New Jersey branch.

After losing both parents, after the escape of the giants, Jessie was adopted by Clay's father. The two kittens that he raised quickly warmed to each other, and became almost inseparable.

Whereas Clay was a fan of circuit racing, Jessie became a die-hard afficionado of rallying, after flipping through TV channels, and stopping on a broadcast of the Safari Rally. This is also where she became a Subaru fan. She had also proven to be quite artistic, but gave it up after she was stuck with a rather poor art teacher. She later rekindled this interest after another friend persuaded her to take a fine arts class in high school.

When she was 17 years of age, she found out about a project involving nanite-based enhancements. She decided to enter it, believing that it would be interesting, though Clay had warned her that it would be far worse than she predicted. He was right. After she was knocked out with anesthetic, she woke up completely blind, deaf, mute, and unable to move (her arms and legs were removed). Fortunately for her, a sympathetic scientist (most scientist in the force were known for an exceptionally cold, almost heartless personality, used to avoid emotional attachment to subjects) helped her maintain her sanity, actually treated her like an intelligent, sentient being, and trained her in the new features her new robotic enhancements allowed her. When she escaped from the facility, and into the rest of the world, she took the time to thank him personally.

Now free, she put one major feature of her new robotics to good use: the ability to incorporate new technologies and biological abilities into her body and inner workings. When shi (at this point, shi was now hermaphroditic) had finished, very little of hir original self remained, after 4 years of breaking and entering the abodes of those who had abilities shi liked. It was also at this point that Clay reentered hir life, and shi reentered his (but not without difficulty). Also, given hir power, the U.S.B.W.F. were unwilling to punish hir for the escape attempt. Now, shi often uses hir intimidating nature to bully other people to do whatever shi wishes.

Privately, shi sometimes competes in local rallys with a Subaru Impreza WRX, with Clay as co-driver. Shi also plays the drums, and is a fan of older rock music, especially Rush. (Shi states that Neal Peart was the main influence behind hir taking up the drums.) Shi can also be found wrenching on hir modified Subaru Legacy GT Spec.B, riding hir Triumph Speed Triple motorcycle, or working on various visual arts porjects, usually pertaining to pencil, graphics design, and a bit of 3D modelling/animation. Shi has also admitted to being bisexual, and is an occaisonal smoker, though the tobacco has had no ill effects, for reasons detailed below.

Again, canons were jumped to enter the Wacky Races.

[edit] The nano-robotics

Jessie's major defining trait is the nano-robotics that have woven themselves into every detail of hir physiology. Very little "organic" parts remain, with only the brain, remaining sections of hir hide, fur, sexual organs, and liver remaining (the latter due to the impossibility to create a compact, fully-functioning artificial liver.) Even then, these are heavily infused with nanotechnology. The rest have been replaced with artificial substitutes. A rundown of the abilities they offer follows...

• Copying new tecnologies/biological traits
  • This is one of Jessie's favorites. Any new technology or unique biological ability can be adapted and incorporated into hir body and robotics, to ward off becoming obsolete, and an advantage in combat. Biological abilities can be imitated with robotics, or incorporated into hir physiology. The latter uses more energy, however, and is permanent, whereas the robotics can be "hidden away" when not needed. Biological abilities also require Jessie to get a sample of nanites to enter the bloodstream of the individual in question, a potentially difficult process, and take an hour to appear. If desired, Jessie can strip the unlucky donor of said ability. Jessie usually does this if said donor made acquiring the new ability more annoying than it needs to be.
• Superhuman strength
  • All major muscles in Jessie's body have been replaced with robotic counterparts. Just like with real muscle, strength increases with size. The upshot of this is that, with a normal female physique, Jessie can still easily lift a coach bus. With hir normal hyper-muscular build, shi can very well be one of the strongest living beings on the planet. Because the robotic muscle doesn't tear or tire, Jessie enjoys amazing stamina, being able to perform strenuous activities without even a bit of heavy breathing, long after others have collapsed from exhaustion
• Exotic energy-based weaponry
  • Each of Jessie's four arms contains a pulse rifle, flechette launcher, warp cannon, and a zero-point energy device. The pulse rifle allows for concentrated, constant (and accurate) ranged attacks on enemies, but is quite loud, and the pulses are bright enough to be easily spotted, especially in dark environs. The flechette launcher launches a burst of barbed projectiles, which are equipped with a dark energy charge, which vaporizes organic material upon detonation. Compared to the pulse rifle, the flechettes are inaccurate at long range, and are unable to be fired continuously, requiring a pause to assemble new projectiles. However, they are silent, almost invisible in low light, and can still inflict serious injury upon impact. The zero-point energy device allows Jessie to grab objects from a distance and pull them toward hir, and even use them as a weapon. The "grip" of the device can be adjusted to either gently support an object, all the way to killing any living being from massive internal injuries, even without being punted. The warp cannon is the most powerful weapon in hir arsenal. Dark energy is converted into a concentrated blast of exotic matter, and fired from an emitter in the palm of hir hand (shared with the zero-point device.) All organic matter within a certain radius is disintegrated. The force of the blast can heavily damage or even destroy buildings (the materials used are often too dense for the exotic matter to vaporize.)
• Armor
  • Much of Jessie's robotic body parts are covered with armor, and can resist all small arms fire, as well as weather repeated impacts from an RPG. Hir skin has also been toughened, and can resist all but the most powerful rounds (A .50 BMG will penetrate the skin), although they, too, are stopped by hir ventral plates. Acid and heat/flames have no effect on armor or skin. Keep in mind that this is at 8 feet in height. As hir size increases, the protection offered increases as well. Hir skin is also resistant to being sliced, making such an act difficult but not impossible (A genuine Japanese katana can easily break the skin, for example)
• Immortality
  • Jessie simply cannot die. All injuries (even a single dead cell) are healed, and lost body parts are regrown from a supply of stem cells whose reproduction is sent into overdrive. Old age will not happen, as the aging process will be frozen at 25 years. Because of this, the ability to feel pain has been disabled. This also allows hir to take up smoking without the harmful side effects. Does this mean Jessie is invulnerable? No. The brain is the most important organ for the robotics. If it is damaged, all unnecessary activities cease until repairs are started. If the brain is continuously damaged, Jessie is incapacitated. As soon as this damage stops though...
• Mental conditioning
  • Given the stress involved with combat, Jessie's brain has been altered to allow for an improved mindset for combat. She is very hard to scare, much less likely to panic, and is able to make clear, rational decisions under duress that would send a normal soldier fleeing in terror. However, this has given Jessie a somewhat bi-polar personality that varies between warm and friendly (thankfully, the most common), to an icy, mischievous demeanor, to rather pyschotic tendencies, all the way to being downright evil. (All made worse when combined with hir potential size and strength.) Shi has also developed a tendency to resort to violence much more readily in situations that a normal person would use a more rational approach towards. (The ongoing saga with the perverted engineer in the Winter 2009 Wacky Race was a good example)
• Enhanced senses
  • Jessie's sense of smell, hearing, and sight are all incredibly keen. Hir eyes have been replaced with cameras which allow for vision modifiers (night-vision, infrared, and a special modifier that can reveal the location of electronic devices from the electromagnetic waves emitted from the device), as well as zooming. However, this has given hir a cold, lifeless stare, similar to a terminator, only without the evil red glow.
• Direct control of others
  • If hir nanites are in someone's system. Jessie can easily assume control of that person. This can range from a minor, inconspicuous manipulation of thoughts, to complete control of all motor functions. This also allows hir control of hir body if the head is separated, usually to reattach it.
• Enhanced reactions
  • Jessie's reactions are impossibly quick. Shi can recognize and react to events that would have passed by a normal person (until the impulse reaches his brain. It is still possible to startle hir, though. (This is not recommended)
• Enhanced running and jumping ability
  • Jessie has been known to sprint quickly enough to keep up with a car moving at 65 mph, at 8 feet in height, and easily jump to extraordinary heights, covering distances of up to 50 meters. Even higher jumps and speeds are possible.
• Camouflage
  • The nanites on the surface of Jessie's armor and body can act like an LCD screen, allowing hir to project images on hir body to blend in with hir surroundings, among other acts. Shi can also "cloak" hirself, by having the nanites "guide" light around hir body, instead of reflecting it, making hir appear invisible.
• Backup control
  • If, for any reason, Jessie can not control hir body (e.g.: knocked unconscious), the computers in hir body can assume control until the brain is ready to resume control.
• Hacking
  • Almost every computer is vulnerable to Jessie's hacking ability. The only way to prevent this is to have absolutely no way to connect to the Internet. Even then, there is the possibility of hir finding a workaround
• Portal-based
  • A recent development following the latest Wacky Race is the addition of portal devices, adapted from confidential Von Smythe plans, in turn developed by the Glorbibat race. As well as traveling between worlds and times, shi has added the ability to place several small, individual portals, allowing objects to travel between them. However, large trips are extreme demanding on the body, usually resulting in unconsciousness.

The abilities and details Jessie has copied are as follows...

• Amphibious
  • Jessie nicked this off of an unknown aquatic creature. This includes gills (hidden under a large frill around hir neck, function in both salt and freshwater), webbed digits, and a thick, muscular tail with a whale tail-like spade, as well as a love of the water. Also the most recent addition.
• Extra pair of arms
  • Jessie isn't sure why she chose to adapt these, but she likes them, and they can be useful, so they stayed. Can be hidden as needed.
• Size-shifting
  • Jessie is capable of growing or shrinking to almost any size shi desired. Although shrinking is limited to the size of the size of a small cell, growth is unlimited. Jessie has, on occasion, grown so large that the entire galaxy could rest in hir hand. And shi is still easily capable of growing ever larger. Fortunately for us, shi usually sticks to a height of 8 feet. Taken from the same dracocheetah mentioned below.
• Build
  • Variable, but often very muscular. Adapted from a cougar shi saw at a gym.
• Gecko-like paws
  • Allows Jessie to scale surfaces without carving out footholds. Adapted from a gecko, obviously.
• Dracoserval
  • Jessie's other most prominent feature is hir draconic features, namely wings, fire breath, horns, ventral plates, senses, and tail spade. All except the wings are organic. Nicked off the aforementioned dracocheetah.
• Hermaphroditic
  • Accidentally added from the same dracocheetah, as shi was still getting used to this ability. Added to hir physiology, so this is permanent. (Just to avoid confusion, this means shi has a complete set of both male and female reproductive organs. Appearance-wise, shi has a pronounced female bias. (Essentially, a woman with the twig and berries stuck on afterwards.)
• Skunk
  • This is one Jessie sometimes wishes shi never added, or at least did not make permanent. However, it has been handy in combat sometimes.
• Intelligence
  • Jessie has an excellent grasp of all major academics (physics, biology, chemistry, philosophy, the arts, etc.) as well as engineering owning to hir draconic brain and enhancement. Intelligences tests pegged hir IQ at around 300. Picked from the brains of great minds, as well as Clay.
• Mimicking
  • As Jessie's larynx has been replaced, shi can imitate almost any sound possible. However, given that any vocalization made by hir has a distinct robotic sound, it is still possible to tell if it is Jessie on the other end of a conversation. (Imagine the Combine Overwatch, but as emotive as a typical human, and in the voice of Merle Dandridge, and you can get an idea of what hir voice sounds like.) Clay had tought hir all that he knew about this practice.
• Venom
  • Jessie fangs are hollow, which can inject a potent neurotoxin into whoever shi sinks hir teeth in. Injected into the bloodstream, it causes paralysis, vomiting, convulsions, and death. The venom also reacts with the oxygen in the air, and can be blown to create a cloud of gaseous venom. In this form, the victim is paralyzed, but completely conscious. Good for trapping prey. Adapted from the numerous venomous animals in existence

Essentially, shi is nigh on the perfect super-soldier. Or at least, shi 'would' be, were it not for simple ennui on Jessie's part.

[edit] James Richards

• Species: Raccoon
• Age: 24
• Sex: Male
• Nationality: British
• Race: Caucasian
• Fur color: Typical raccoon coloration
• Eye color: Brown

James Richards was the DSRacing race engineer, part-time SBK rider, and co-driver to Jessie Aromando for the Summer 2009 races.

Compared to the other driving talent, James has led a relatively normal life. No major strifes, no dead parents. He entered several races in the World Superbike Championship. Although he did relatively well, he decided competing wasn't for him. He approached the DSRacing squad, inquiring about a job as race engineer. He has also served as Clay's main engineer during his giant-trapping days. The team desperate for a race engineer, he was hired. Immediately, his skills at strategy became apparent, though his work was ultimately undone by the useless Rolph Shoemaeker. It was James who suggested Clay take Shoemaeker's seat, giving the cat the introduction to auto racing he needed.

Following the vacancy left by Clays loaning to KUIPER Racing, James was made interim co-driver, an opportunity he was not particularly keen to accept. A pay bonus (and some screaming from the team owner) convinced him otherwise.

[edit] Wacky Race participation

[edit] Spring 2008

In the inaugural Final Gear Wacky Race, AmTGMan originally intended to go it alone, and announced he would enter a Nissan R92CP Group C prototype. However, after issues with Nissan arose, the car was replaced with a modified Lola B02/00 Champ car. After issues with convincing Lola to build another chassis, and the inability to modify the car himself, DSRacing replaced AmTGMan's entry. Lola finally agreed to assemble the car, Cosworth agreed to supply the engine, and Clay handled the design work for the modifications. Red Bull provided the sponsorship. AmTGMan and Clay shared driving duties, with AmTGMan starting the race. Vitantonio Liuzzi was the reserve driver

The race began poorly, as another competitor had sabotaged the car by destroying the clutch, costing the team thirty minutes to repair the car. Later, with Clay behind the wheel, the suspension and a radiator were damaged when Clay collided with the KaJuN-Lincoln shopping cart, costing the team even more time with repairs. After this, the team began to slowly move through the field, until they were challenging for the lead. In a surprising move of camaraderie, spare engines, materials, and mechanics were sent to a broken down Miata entered by thedguy. After a gutsy all night stint by Clay, AmTGMan took the wheel for the final stint. A fervent battle saw the team finish fourth.

[edit] Winter 2009

For sale: 2009 Mercedes Actros racing truck. Diesel. TT V8. TC ABS ESC. 2000+ HP. Mounts for pulse rifles. Slightly used. $3,500,000 OBO. Ask for Clay.

Again, budget woes struck the team, as Red Bull pulled their sponsorship due to the economic crisis. In addition, Liuzzi was forcibly removed from the team, because nobody told AmTGMan that Luizzi was no longer a Red Bull driver. Despite these setbacks, the team began testing improvements to the champ car, hoping to enter as an independent team. However, while testing at the Circuit de La Sarthe, the suspension failed, pitching the car into the barriers. Thankfully, Clay suffered only a broken wrist and ankle. Now with no car, no sponsorship, and no drivers (AmTGMan had to give up his role as driver due to managerial needs), the situation looked blank. Desperate, the team intended to enter the race with a modified Prius, and Jessie was talked into the drive by Clay, who picked up the car from perennial DNPQ'er, team Save the Earth. However, due to Clay's rubbish truck driving, the car was lost in Arizona, and torched by a Satanic cult, who were later admitted to the hospital for inhaling burning battery fumes.

Absolutely desperate for a vehicle, the team used the only thing on wheels they had, the Mercedes-Benz Actros truck. In a miracle of modern engineering, the truck was designed, built by enslaved UAW members, and tested and armed with advanced weaponry in a matter of days. Happily, Mercedes-Benz and Vodafone agreed to sponsor the new operation, now officially Mercedes Vodafone DSRacing. One member of the design team was repeatedly brutalized by Jessie after copping multiple feels.

After stalling the truck at the start, the team managed to survive an early race snowstorm, and the VonSmythe ordered bombing of the mall the race traveled through. It was at this point that Jessie's destructive nature shone, repeatedly assaulting VonSmythe's Eurofighter squadrons, crushing much of the traffic to circumvent the traffic jams of the city of Nylon, and crushing the car of VELOCERacing, as well as throwing the VonSmythe Rolls Royce back to the start. (He was thrown back into position again.) However, bad luck relegated the team to eighth, which saw the destruction of a city by Jessie, and the assault of the team owner by Clay. Mercedes-Benz and Vodafone rescinded their sponsorship over the poor showing.

[edit] Summer 2009

Shortly after the end of the previous race, KUIPER Racing contacted the team about a partnership for the next event. Strapped for cash, (only 75 cents and a pack of Rolaids) DSRacing agreed, and the agreement was kept secret. Following the move to a choice of single-seater vehicles, DSRacing agreed to loan Clay to the new teammate, feeling that a co-driver would be unnecessary. However, given the lack of funny banter a single driver presents, James was drafted into the vacant role, which he initially resisted. In preparation, a Final Gear HQ branch was set up, and immediately put to use, assembling meerkat-powered Daleks for KUIPER.

Conspiracy theorist believed that DSRacing had taken control of the US government, and were preparing to enter the Great European Conflict of 2009 against the VonSmythe-supported Großreich, allied with Britain and France, likely to defend KUIPER Racing, itself British-based and sponsored by the French government. DSRacing has denied the rumors as fallacies made by people with no lives. Recent mass protests (and one mass gathering by confused people to pray to "the Great Goddess of Us All," (Jessie)) outside the gates to the New Jersey complex have all been quashed in displays of mass death by numerous sentry turrets. The police have not commented. Some believe the police to have been paid off.

Recently, DSRacing admitted to sabotage by its two drivers, after Clay and Jessie had been found prank calling VonSmythe suppliers on his stolen cell phone, in an attempt to make them cancel their contract to the rival team. When questioned, they blamed it on VELOCERacing, claiming a handsome reward for it. DSRacing apologized for the poor showing, and would accept any sanctions while punishment for its drivers underwent debate. Some believe that this announcement was an outright lie, and that the prank calls were supported by all on the team, some of whom even joined in. Again, such claims have been dismissed as fallacies. The brewing rivalry between DSRacing and VonSmythe came to a peak when the DSRacing, FinalGear HQ branch complex was rocked by a terrorist bomb, coinciding with two ultimately successful attempts at sabotage during a testing session at Road Atlanta, involving much of the crew being poisoned by JollyBiscuit-tainted food, as well as all available radiator cores being clogged with JollyBiscuits. VonSmythe is a prime suspect, though any links remain unconfirmed. A piece of shrapnel with the VonSmythe Industrie logo was found, however, spurring the team to pursue legal action. Security has since been extensively overhauled.

The vehicle for the race will be a Triumph MotoGP motorcycle, designed by Clay, with assistance from his motorcycle-riding fellow drivers. The original engine was a 3-cylinder, 800cc unit with 275 hp, as well as a KERS system. However, with a new engine deal from Mazda, this engine, as well as the KERS system, have been replaced with a modified R20B Wankel engine, producing 425 hp. One disadvantage is that a bike is obviously very easy to knock around. However, given that the rider is Jessie, this may possibly discourage any attempts at this. James will be shrunk down, and strapped into a special compartment in hir helmet, complete with a large lexan window up front, to provide co-driver duties, and will be supplied with g-suit, the video pacenotes supplied to Clay last race, and food, drink, and entertainment. After a one race sabbatical, Red Bull returned as the main sponsor, but was ultimately dropped, after the formation of the Großreich. Following this, IKEA and British American Tobacco were signed as replacement sponsors. The team also announced the construction of the Tilke-designed AppalachiaRing racetrack, as well as the joint DS-KUIPER Airborne Defense System.

The race itself nearly saw a massive falling out by Jessie and James, while trying to avoid the hazards of an erupting Mount Clarkson. However, shortly after escaping, the pair, along with the KUIPER entry were teleported to the Glorbibat home planet, taken over by Von Smythe Industrie. They were begged to free the Glorbibats, but were cut short when a fixing of time disturbances brought them back to the race. This resulted in a massive firefight between Entente and Großreich forces, with the whole supply of missiles from DKADS exhausted. A desperate lunge for the finish was futile, as Von Smythe edged the bike to victory. Following this defeat, out of fear of repurcussions, DSRacing was dissolved, and all key DSRacing personnel and drivers disappeared from the public, with only a solemn goodbye on the team's short-lived blog.

[edit] Rumored Winter II 2009

Despite now-Emperor Von Smythe declaring the Wacky Race illegal, rumors began to circulate that the Wacky Race would resume around the Christmas holidays under the new leadership of Espace F1 team owner VikiradTG2007. Similarly, it is rumored that DSRacing, now wanted by the Großreich, may return in some form.

The Großreich wishes it to known that the aforementioned rumors are all false. We are continuing to search for all DSRacing personnel, and have indeed captured some team members. We have ensured that no Wacky Race will be held, and all who attempt to do so will be summarily arrested and charged. All those who still support DSRacing are requested to report to their nearest Großreich embassy for execution.

[edit] See Also

• Final Gear HQ
• VonSmythe Industrie
• VeloceRACING
• KUIPER Racing
• The official DSRacing blog[1]